If You’re a Person Just Getting Into Scientology Wouldn’t You Have Already Heard the ‘Big Secret’ by Now?

Question by NECROMOMICON: If you’re a person just getting into Scientology wouldn’t you have already heard the ‘Big Secret’ by now?
Seriously, how can they keep that a secret?

Xenu the Space Overlord decided to depopulate his overcrowded Intergallactic Empire by sending (on spaceships that looked like DC-10’s) a ton of aliens he didn’t like, by freezing them and sending them to Teegeeakk (Earth) to be destroyed in volcanoes where their souls flew into the sky and were captured by soul catching machines and were then (for some reason) sent into the bodies of early humans.
In order to feel better you have to get rid of these souls. (Thetans.)
Is that about right? Did I miss anything?

If I know all about it, and I’m just some guy, how can you expect people to give you their life savings to know the Big Secret?
It was on a South Park episode!! How secret is that?

Or maybe they’re making up bigger and better, sad, sci-fi mythology these days.
Hey ‘I like people to answer’ – you aren’t all that bright, are you?

Best answer:

Answer by chris m
That’s the kind of thing I’ve heard around the traps – and I have to admit, I think I get more value out of Star Trek. But there must be heaps more fun stuff in it, or is Tom Cruise really that stupid?

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

 


 

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6 Responses to If You’re a Person Just Getting Into Scientology Wouldn’t You Have Already Heard the ‘Big Secret’ by Now?

  • Barbara says:

    L. Ron Hubbard couldn’t even get people to take his science fiction writing seriously how would he expect that the average human with two brain cells to rub together would take his makeshift religion any differently.

  • Christian #3412 says:

    There’s also an intergalactic movie theater that only certain Scientologists get to go to.

  • Mrs. Ghristho says:

    Why do you think they are branching out to all those middle eastern countries with their “charities” and preying on drug addicts with their “rehabilitation centers”. Oh and don’t forget the celebrities as shown by the recent-ish wedding of tom cruise and wotsername where there was a “scientologist adviser” at the head of each table.

    They do seem to be running out of gullible saps.

  • Universal Pants says:

    Chris M: Tom Cruise really IS that stupid…

  • iLikePeopleToAnswerMyQuestions says:

    Uh…. what?? Early humans are just like us except they had to live a much harder way and they was there before Jesus (B.C.) (Before Christ). I don’t know nothing about your research about the Early Humans and Aliens. Where the heck did you get this dream-like/cartoon-like research at? If it was just off of South Park then don’t belive it cuz some things that they say in cartoons is NOT real life. I think this MIGHT be make belive because wouldn’t a scienctist find fossuls of Aliens by now? You shouldn’t give your life savings up for anything. Don’t you wanna make it to Heaven? I think they are amking it all up then only way how you can know for VERY sure is to ask God when you go to Heaven and die.

    Peace.

  • xenypoo says:

    LOL, stop making me laugh at your questions! You keep knocking down all of these people you’re asking these questions to, with common sense, and making my throat hurt by LOL so much!
    PS I have no affiliation with Xenu…..just making that clear, LOL

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