Should I Help Her, or Just Not Care and Move On?
Question by PartyAllDay23: Should I help her, or just not care and move on?
I’m 16..
So, I used to be good friends with this girl…we aren’t friends anymore because a series of events (long story), but I said something about the people on fox news being “idiots” and she was I like, “don’t talk to me like that, I wasn’t raised that way.” I wanted to laugh and I had an AMAZING COUNTER (you will see what I’m talking about in a second)…but I always win arguments, and I always do a lot of damage so I just sort of took it easy. I was like, “You should stop complaining about words like idiot. We are juniors in high school not pre-schoolers.” And then we got in this big argument with her saying I was not “raised right” and I just let her go on…because I had a lot of good counters, all of which would do a lot of damage…but in the inside I knew I was winnning…so thats all that mattered. So, she told me that I should stop acting like a “p****” and that she wouldn’t talk to me again unless I apologized. I told her, that she can forget it. She dissed me and wanted ME to apologize. I just told her that I wanted an apology from her. When I’m wrong in an argument I always apologize within a few days, but she never did. This was in July.
I used to always talk to her last year, and everything, but I sort of dissociated myself with the rest of the world because me and her were trying to focus on fixing the damage we did with our grades freshman year. This year, I’m a junior and I’m graduating early…I’ve made alot of new friends (practically everyone in every single one of my classes)…and she’s in like 3 of my classes and it’s really awkward. She always sits by herself and looks kind of depressed. Her facebook statuses and everything is also very depressing…and I sort of feel bad for her..because even though I’m angry and sort of defriended her (or she defriended me really), I still feel bad that she is lonely. Also, freshman year (this is the comeback), she used to do drugs (which is why I don’t understand how I wasn’t raised right for calling fox news “idiots” but you did drugs…and she said that she only did it a “few times”). And she could practically point out 100 pills on the internet and tell me the effect of each one. She use to always complain about her heart hurting last year too…and I use to get mad at her because she would take all of these weird supplements to loose weight (she’s not fat), and other stuff and I thought that was directly associated with her chest pain. She also had problems with concentration. She use to always doze off.
And now that she is lonely it feels that she has been like, taking new stuff. She posted something on her profile the other day called “purple drank” (which is illegal…and has prescription grade medications in it)…and I’m like, WTH is your problem?!! I was going to go talk to her like a month or two ago..tell her that I wanted to be friends..not good friends but at least talk to each other every now and then…but then she posted a status on facebook (while I was thinking about approaching her): “It makes me f****** angry when I see your face. I want to be happy is that too much to ask for?” And I’m sure that was meant for me. In my head I was like laughing, “Okay, F you. Live your lonely life. I won’t help you.” But should I? I would be devastated if something did happen. Like depression/loneliness plus the use of this purple drank stuff….what if it gets worst? (and I know she’s lonely/depressed not only because I can see it, also because one of her friends told me….and her friend also said that she was trying to get her to try the purple drank stuff.)
What do you think I should do?
Well she’s not really my friend, but okay. :/
Best answer:
Answer by CLT787
Tough love. Honestly I’d try to talk to someone else–someone who can get things done. Your friend may not be too happy, but it’s the right thing to do
What do you think? Answer below!
Tags: united states, fox news, high school
help her cause if you dont who will right now she needs a freind she may not realize it now but it will help her in the long run go with her to a.a. if you see that stuff flush it and tell her she doesnt need it and give her reasons why shes awesome and special without it and tell her she will ruin her life and possibly end it if she keeps doing it
As you stated at one point you and her were indeed really good friends and you had a major immature argument over something extremely minor. Both of you need to understand as friends you can agree to disagree about things. What may have seemed stupid to you might not be to her like fox Tv. for example. But because you see for yourself she’s going through some serious substance problems and alcohol as well as being under age drinking and mixing up medications with it. You as a sincere concerned friend should approach her, apologize to her if you have to, but be the bigger person right now. She turns to alcohol and drugs for a reason, it could very well be a result of depression, or something else that bothers her and she’s trying to drown it out of her mind. There was so since of comfort and self control when you were on good terms as friends, now that you haven’t spoken to one another she’s gotten back into those bad habits. You may be someone important to her rather you knew it or not. so please make it a point to talk to her alone confidently so that she might open up and tell you what’s going on. She could over dose, get injured, injure someone else, sink deeper into severe state of depression where as she felt ending her life is best. When you can try to help now ok. Being the bigger person means as well to over look and not mention what you read on FB assuming she was talking about or to you. I think you do care about her well being and safety so be supportive morally as a good friend. There’s too many people whom are regretting the fact they stood there doing nothing for a friend. Don’t be among those in the line of regret.
Good luck and i hope that she does get the professional help she really needs.
On line look up information about depression and the signs or symptoms that you can look for and the other friend that mentioned she was trying to talk her into drinking that stuff. Maybe she can help by pointing out things she’s seen your friend doing or saying that are considered code red emergency signs. Talk wit a school counselor STAT though about the matter so that he/she will speak with all of her teachers to be on alert and they will notify the social worker at your school and bring her in for counseling alone and with her parents.. Sometimes it depends the counselor will go to the home for a family meeting to discuss methods of treatment for her, no one will know you said a word if you do say anything to anyone now or later ok. But at least you know she’ll be safe and an adult is aware something is wrong with her.
for me, just move on because,if you help her maybe you can make the situation worst…